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And come on! I mean the pillar of salt gag is lame, I don't care if it's in the bible or not.

You don't care if it's in the Bible or not, eh, Ed? You sound like Tiomkin: "I don't buy it that she turned into a pillar of salt."
Everyone's a critic. Now if only we could hold a seance, get in touch with the authors of the Bible and get a quick re-write done.